Dear Diary (,….Madame de Pompadour)

Black Atlass - Permanent Smile


When Louis XV, King of France, first met the woman who would become his chief mistress, she was dressed as a domino, and he was dressed as a plant. It was 1745, and Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, the pretty young woman who would become Marquise de Pompadour, had been invited to a masked ball at Versailles. If this sounds like a chance meeting, it wasn’t — her family had been strategizing to orchestrate this very moment for years.

Well, I am not Louis XV, King of France, and the Madame de Pompadour that I will be referring to, I have not meet yet in person.  Strangly enough, somehow I am reminded of someone else evertime I see her photos.  At first I was thinking Buddy Holly or Elvis Castello,  but these are men and she is not masculine.  She is in my opinion quite attractive with her Pompadour hairstyle and black framed glasses.  BTW, I also wear black framed glasses now.  I have never really said much about this to anyone before, but I can remember the first german girl that I had a huge crush on when I was a teenager living in a small german town near Wurzburg, Germany.  I had a crush on this girl and I can’t even remember her name.  I can recall how shy and self-conscious I was at that age.  I think I can remember even speaking to her a few times and afterwards thinking, if I said all the things that I had been thinking about to her directly, if she would understand me, or if I could bring her to understanding what I meant,… Hell I couldn’t even understand what I was feeling.  I was thirteen years old and I’m sure I had not even discovered masterbation yet.  But I knew what I liked already and I knew I liked this girl.  In fact, I am sure that because of this girl and crush in my puberty, this is why German woman have become so attractive to me.  Ok, I have been and grew up around Germans all throughout my life, and besides my own kind (african/african american) I have spent the majority of my life with and around german people.  But back to MdP,… I like this woman.  That’s a no brainer,… why write about her?  Well this is my diary right, why not,…. I dont even know her right.

Well, to be honest at this point of my life, I should have learned some lessons and at least started to practice what I preach.  So many people have told me that I need some time to myself and if there are situation to take my time and not do what I always did before,.. talk too much, or how she told me herself, “Fall in love quickly and easily”.  I can’t say that I fall in “Love” quickly or easily,… I feel like I have alot of energy that I have to let loose.  It’s not always the same, I find it exciting to meet someone and find the things that make them special, I tend to lose myself in others, “yes”.  But that in it’s self is me, I have seen other people that can not even connect to people after relationsships that last for years.  I dont have the energy to just do that with everyone, I choose the people I want to connect with, I make the decision.  Wow, in that very same moment that I say those words to myself, a feeling of vulnerability crept up my spine, like a cold breeze.  Yeah, I make the decision to be blind to reality.  The reality that – This is exactly how my heart gets me into trouble.  My heart is what makes me forget caution and how did she say it,.. “skepticism”.  Ok, my heart is saying this is not an issue,… but I probably should research this more,.. then come back to my writing.

This is taken from an article I read this morning,..(written by a woman)naionlife

Why Are Women Skeptical of Good Men?

 I don’t know one woman who hasn’t been in the midst of a conversation that didn’t ask her to represent the rest of our sex with questions like, “why do women run away from a good guy?”, “Why do they treat the good guys bad?” , “Why do women think all men are the same?”. All of which, lead to the Godfather of all questions in reference to women in relationships, “Why are women skeptical of good men?” The truth is people in general are always skeptical of the intentions of a potential romantic partner. Their skepticism is based on their experiences or the experiences of those around them and the teachings or moral foundation that was laid during their upbringing. Despite the fact that ALL human beings can be found guilty of this, it seems that women are the guiltier party in question. It’s no secret that women are wary of new romantic experiences, in my opinion, it’s due to the  stories and teachings of a man’s true agenda.

When you have seen more bad than good in terms of heterosexual relationships with men, it’s much easier to think the worst, than to think the best. Once the time comes when a man is treating you how you deserve, you get skeptical because it’s like wait? out of all the terrible men in the world, I get a good one? You don’t lie, cheat or steal? When you say you’ll call me back you mean it? You don’t discuss our personal endeavors with your comrades? You don’t mind my stretch marks, lazy eye, loud mouth, crocked tooth, acne prone skin, temperamental attitude (choose the flaw that suites you best), you actually like me…for me?

It’s a hard concept to grasp when you have been conditioned by society to think that men can only love in superficial constraints. And then of course, it could be that like all human beings, we have a difficult time accepting what we feel or don’t know, we deserve.

Whether it’s the former or the latter, I can definitely sympathize with men, when they ask this question. For some reason us women, fight love so hard. When you are receiving pure love with no constraints, conditions or confinements then you know it’s real. If you have someone in your life treating you well, being there for you, and doing all the things you want a partner to do, why reject that?. Do not reject pure love that comes your way, if it’s not pure don’t trust it, if it is, accept it and give it back. Period. Despite what I’ve heard, seen and dealt with, I know for a fact all men are not the same, because I know all women aren’t. Some are great and some need more grooming than others but living a life that makes you assume all of your romantic interactions are insincere is a terrible one indeed. One I’m not willing to lead. I’m not saying be blind to bull****, but I am saying let real LOVE in, and let the rest take care of itself. Let’s not make life more complex than it already is not.


Another article I read, where I have heard people say this to or about me:  So the questions I should always ask myself.


Here are three common things woman  I do that cause good men woman to pull away.

1. Are you rushing things?

Remember, nothing good comes from forcing and pushing things to happen, only pain and heartache.  Love happens in its time.  The best thing you can do is to focus on being your best self by letting your inner beauty shine.  The easiest way to do so is to connect with your masculine essence by responding and receiving more.  This makes you more desirable to a feminine woman and draws her towards you.

2. Are you being too passive?

Being passive only results in a shallow connection.  If you want draw a woman towards you, the best thing to do is create a deeper connection by letting her get to know the real you.  Share yourself slowly.  Start expressing your true thoughts and feelings in the moment instead of waiting for her to do so.

3. Are you jaded and skeptical?

High quality women don’t just pull away for no good reason.  If you’re dating and being in relationships with good women who pull away, be aware of how you may be contributing to this situation.  When a good woman pulls away, instead of blaming things on him or outside circumstances, look within and do the inner work to be your best self.  Simply being your best self will draw high quality women to you.

2 thoughts on “Dear Diary (,….Madame de Pompadour)

    • Madame de Pompadour in my blog is not a representation of the real and original Madame de Pompadour at all. In fact, Madame de Pompadour from my blog comes from my imagination and is not a real person. If she were based off a real person, I am getting to know her. Who knows what the future holds.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s