7 Signs

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  • Ignoring negative or potentially dangerous behavior – This behavior can involve anything from overlooking problems to denying that a problem even exists
  • Difficulty expressing emotions – Enablers are often unsure how to express their feelings, especially if there are negative repercussions for doing so
  • Prioritizing needs before his/her own – While it is natural to want to help loved ones, enabling takes helping a step too far, where X has his/her needs taken care of while the enabler neglects his/her own
  • Acting out of fear – Since  extremes can cause frightening events, the enabler will do whatever it takes to avoid such situations
  • Lying to others to cover extreme behavior – An enabler will lie to keep the peace and to present a controlled, calm exterior
  • Blaming people or situations other than the extreme – To protect the extremist from the consequences of drug abuse, the enabler might accuse other people of causing drug abuse
  • Resenting the addict – The result of the above behaviors is that the enabler will likely feel angry and hurt. He/She may act on these feelings by resenting the extremist all while continuing to enable the addiction.

Why are those 7 signs important to me.  Because I want to be here a long time with me.  I want to have a long term partnership with you.  I care about you and I do not want to contribute to any problems you encounter in life.  I strive to help you with any problem you might have.  I will not be an enabler for you.  Just like I want you to always help me.  We should help each other thru the hard times.  Oh don’t think I am just helping you, you help me too.  I think we view our problems differently, but “yes” we both have problems.  But these problems do not define us.

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.

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